Romantic novel or not

Sounds funny reading that. The pro blem though,is that I don’t feel funny instead. I tried to write a romantic novel and I am doing my best to convince myself it is a romantic novel,but the book has my family in stitches. They have not read it but the idea has them in giggles. It made me wonder. I asked my youngest why my idea of a romantic novel had such an effect on them.
She smiled and said it would be hard for her to imagine me being mushy or write like a romantic person. I ignored that,finished the novel and sent it off. Couple of weeks later, I got a timid question as my intended publisher asked me if I wanted a romantic my manuscript to be treated as a romantic novel with depth.
I was mystified and begged my youngest daughter to please read. Three days later she handed over the manuscript with a grimace. My heart sank and I asked what was amiss. She took pity on my crestfallen face,and said the romance I wrote about could only be in my time. “you see, mum,nobody conducts love this way anymore? Your characters are too honest. Even the bad ones aren’t coming off as bad.
Now I am expecting the small rejection slip.
I have one question,must a love story be steamy. seamy
and sordid before it can be seen and accepted ad romantic?
I am making no excuses if it is badly written, but the complaint is I am too deep.
My husband thinks I should stick to what I know best. He says being an author does not necessarily qualify me to write romantic novel.
Can you please explain it to me.